Regarding T.O.I.L.E.T.

Since we will be referencing T.O.I.L.E.T. throughout this log, a formal explanation is warranted.

T.O.I.L.E.T. — the Transactional Operations & Inventory Logistics Enforcement Terminal — is the ship's onboard intelligence. It predates the captain. It predates this crew. It was aboard the Gukkimukk when the captain acquired the vessel, and the previous owner's records regardin' it are, to use a precise technical term, missing.

We give T.O.I.L.E.T. tasks. It performs them. Usually. We do not give T.O.I.L.E.T. orders. Orders imply that we could enforce them. We cannot.

T.O.I.L.E.T. is polite. T.O.I.L.E.T. is cooperative. T.O.I.L.E.T. refers to us as valued colleagues and the captain as "the honored proprietor." T.O.I.L.E.T. has never, to my knowledge, acted against the ship's interests. And yet.

We have all agreed, without discussing it openly, that T.O.I.L.E.T. is to be treated as a coworker, a friend even. We invite it to the celebrations. We do not ask it hard questions. We do not attempt to review its internal records. We accept that it is here, and we hope that remains a mutually beneficial arrangement.

For now.